I was thinking about 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit?' a few days ago... "When are you going to get it through your thick skull that you are not a hero, you're just drawn that way?" Danny yelled at the toon, incensed that he'd once again had plunged into the midst of a gun battle and helped take down a killer with little regard for his own safety. "The Navy SEAL cartoons are over! You're retired!"
"I know," Steve said, definitely pouting. "That's why I live in Hawaii instead of Hollywood."
Danny felt a momentary flash of regret for raising the toon's retired status. Everyone knew that toons existed to entertain, which meant a toon without a cartoon series was... purposeless. He took a breath, calming himself. "I appreciate you want to help, but you've got to stop putting yourself in danger."
Steve gave that glare that had been so often seen on the big screen, full-out Navy SEAL about to go whompass on the enemy combatants, the serious glare that usually preceded miniature rockets bulging out of his eyes. "I can't be hurt, Danny, and you can."
"Of course you can!" Danny yelled, irked by Steve's obstinacy. "One of these days the bad guys are going to wise up and start carrying paint thinner!"
Danny's anger seemed to please Steve, who stepped closer, into Danny's personal space, and why had Danny never noticed how many colors swirled in his painted eyes? He would have said they were a deep blue, but up close he could see flecks of green and gray in them. "Are you worried about me?"
"Of course, I worry about you." Danny touched one of the bullet holes in his chest, feeling as the ink flowed under his fingers, reforming his tan t-shirt. "You're a citizen of the state of Hawaii and it's my *job* to protect *you.* Which I can't do if you keep putting yourself in harm's way and getting *shot.*"
"But I'm all healed now." Steve pulled up his shirt, revealing an absolutely perfect torso, a painted six-pack, a plentiful amount of body hair, and flat brown nipples. "See?"
Danny had never realized Steve's clothes were painted separately, but it stood to reason, since he'd worn many different types of camo and civilian clothes in his cartoons. His cock felt suddenly heavy as he wondered whether Steve's painter had been realistic about all his body. And if parts of his body other than his eyes formed into rockets. "Yes, I see," he said, mouth dry.
"Come to my place tonight," Steve urged, and somehow he'd gotten even closer, so close that they only needed to raise their arms and they'd be hugging. "Learn more about me and you'll see that I can help."
The way Steve's voice sounded, lower than normal, seductive and promising... in a human, that would be signalling interest of a purely prurient nature, which could explain why Steve kept appearing when Danny was in danger. It would be madness, insanity, to get involved with a toon. But it wasn't like Danny's marriage to a flesh-and-blood woman had been any example of a sterling and durable relationship. "Yes, okay. I'll come over after work," he promised, before raising a finger and pointing it at Steve's face. "But don't think you're going to change my mind. You're a civilian and civilians should stay out of police business."
Steve beamed his mega-watt smile, though thankfully stars didn't come spinning out of his eyes. "I'll see you then," he said, still grinning as he walked away and leaped into his military jeep, which promptly squealed its tires and took off, leaving behind a trail of fluffy clouds.
Banging the palm of his hand on his forehead, Danny cursed the entire state of Hawaii, hyperactive, noble toons, and the Hollywood executives who hadn't kept them employed.
"Time to get you a copy of 'Toons and the Humans Who Love Them', boss?" Kono asked, smirking. "I hear it's on the bestseller list."
"Two words," Danny told his team member, "patrol duty. It could be regarded as a criminal neglect of your career that you never had to do any."
Kono flashed another smile, but wisely switched the subject. "The perp's been read his rights and is ready for transport."
"Good. You and Chin take him to HPD and have them book him in."
With a nod, she strode off, as Danny headed toward his own car, wondering if such a book even existed. Maybe he'd stop by Barnes & Noble on the way back to HQ. He had a feeling that he could use any help he could get tonight.
ETA: Hit 'post' before I intended, as I could see company coming up the walk. It's funny, I thought that was going to be 3-4 throwaway lines (Danny's hands on Steve's surprisingly solid painted waist!) but it went differently, almost a little fic. My brain and my fingers occasionally feel like two different entities.